Forward-Thinking Madness

Today I accomplished the following:

- A good workout at the gym that did indeed include resistance training.

- The purchase of a used copy of Tori Amos – From the Choirgirl Hotel, because my old copy died a terrible, terrible death.

- The acquisition of a $10 Macy’s Gift card for just showing up at Macy’s.

- The receipt of my copy of Veer’s Activity Book, albeit a bit late.  Some of my old mail is still being forward to my dad’s.

- A fun evening with my sister and niece which included a meltdown at Target, ten Taco Bell tacos both crunchy (no longer called “hard”) and soft, reading Don’t Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late, and watching some sort of documentary on VH1 about heavy metal music.

1) Attempt to break 50-minute record on elliptical at gym.

2) Eat an actual vegetable or fruit.

3) Attempt to maintain sanity at work.

4) Figure out a cure for hot flashes.

5) Buy a case for your iPod shuffle.

6) Purchase airfare to Chicago for October.

7) Be more social.

Stop filling up your shopping cart at veer.com and never buying anything.

9) Listen to less Thom Yorke.  (Possibly.   No promises.)

10) Clean out your truck.

I worked far too much overtime during the months of May, June, July. And what of August? Almost the same. I’ve been in the office just about every Saturday for just over a half day. And what of tomorrow, as it is a Saturday? Yes, I’m working. Who could possibly complain about time and a half? I have no life to speak of. The highlights of the month so far are two Mary Kay parties I attended – one with my sister and the other hosted by my sister. I even bought green eyeshadow.
I also must admit I am listening to far too much Radiohead as of late. This all started when I began working overtime in May. Is there a connection? I cannot say. I’ve always liked Radiohead after first listening to Hail to the Thief in 2003 (I disliked them during the 90′s and dismissed them as angsty guy rock, ha), but I’ve been listening to them far too much lately…It’s Radiohead overtime. Or overdose? Either works, I suppose.
“..rats and the children follow me out of town..”

You know it’s been a good day when you’re left with a smile on your face and you can’t see to get rid of it.  I spent the afternoon with my dad and for once it was entirely stress free; we got along magnificently.  He even took me to dinner at The Olive Garden.

And going to dinner out with my dad has always been a rare event indeed, especially just us, or just going out in general. There were no awkward moments of silence, no shuffling about searching for conversation.  My dad would never go out to eat in the past – I recall this quite clearly as a child.  I could never really figure out why.  At least tonight I gained more insight into my father’s modus operandi.  That, my friends, is something to smile about.

So I’ll smile a bit more tonight as tomorrow is just another workday.

Sometimes I think I want to write again, and then sometimes I am perfectly happy continuing the radio silence. I’ve been drawing again on and off – the first time I’ve managed a simple sketch in over a year. I’m on the road to a more complicated project, perhaps? One step at a time. My creative process, of which I once had control over, still slips through my incapable grasp.
Am I still an artist? I don’t know.  Too complicated of a question for me to answer right now.

I took a year-long interim from blogging as it was something I felt I didn’t need to do anymore. I still plan on refraining from posts of a personal nature. WordPress also gives the handy option of password-protecting a post, so if I do wish to write something personal, it’s a-ok. I’ve kept a weblog since September of 1999 (starting with pitas.com) and most recently with Blue-Notes, which retired in Summer, 2005.

Where does the title “Forward-Thinking Madness” come from? I’m not sure. Perhaps I’ll expand upon that later.

Mother Nature gave Garrett County one last taste of Winter this weekend with four to five inches of snow and high winds. I never realized how lost I was without the internet until the cable went out last night due to the wind with the storm. I sat here for three hours waiting and waiting for it to come back on, but it never did. And during this time, I was able to complete more design work than I’ve done in months.

I also had a nightmare that when I awoke this morning, the cable would still be out. Yes, that would be a nightmare indeed.

Did I mention that Mikka howled all night long, thus only allowing me to sleep six hours? He’s been quite vocal lately to my dismay. I think he and I need to sit down and have a serious kitty-to-mommy discussion.

I’m going to be out of town the next couple days. I’m taking myself on an interesting journey downstate into the realm of Washington, D.C. It’s been almost three years since my last trip and I am looking forward to it.

There’s history there for me as I spent part of my childhood in Germantown, MD. I remember dad taking us into D.C. one summer on the metro and spending a day there. I recall the photographs in my mind–dad always had his camera with him. I suppose I am more like him than I choose to admit…my camera will be in tow on this trip as well.

I recall walking along the Vietnam War Memorial, and the Smithsonian Museum. I recall having a hot dog for lunch and the heat of the summer being the only downfall of the day.

Hopefully I can conjure a few memories while I am in D.C. tomorrow…

I’ve been listening to Tori Amos’ latest release, The Beekeeper, off and on this past week. I have to say that my first reaction was one of boredom–I couldn’t figure out where one song ended and the next one began. But as I’ve listened both at home and while driving, lyrics and melodies started to pop out at me, as in Barons of Suburbia and Marys of the Sea. These two tracks are my favorites as of today, but Witness and Toast are growing on me.

Tori is at a different point in her life, one of less anger..a point of her life that has changed her perspective on the world surrounding her. The need for brutal honesty isn’t necessary anymore. Knowing this, I listened to the album cautiously at first. I know that Tori will never write another Boys for Pele, and I am okay with that. [But of course some critics are not.] You cannot expect an artist to produce the same works over and over again without the slightest variation. As we grow older, we change and so does our perspective.

Personally, I am happy for Tori that she is content and I do not think her music suffers for it.

Linda’s Note 2/21/2010: I wasn’t going to re-publish this entry, but it made me chortle. I used to let things online really get to me. I am happily free of online drama.

It fascinates me to no end the ends that we go to for personal amusement on the internet. We far more daring online than in real life as we can be safely anonymous. For those who feel socially unaccepted in real life, they can seek out a sort of acceptance online. I see this with both men and women equally, but it’s the men [or should I say boys?] that seem to take it to the next level. We’re all guilty of adhering to the clique mentality as it’s inherent within us all, but when it becomes a source of provocation and harassment, I personally must draw the line.

You can find yourself swept up in antics that seem silly and harmless at first, but then you realize that what you’re doing, these things you are resonating, are malicious indeed. One can chalk it up to ‘just being the internet,’ but I believe this is a cop-out. It’s an excuse. I also think it’s cowardly.

One can say it’s fun. But is it really? It may be at first, but then if you do have a conscience, or e-conscience, it begins to kick in. [At least mine did. I cannot speak for everyone, only to what I think is common sense.]

Hatred is a funny thing–it comes in all sorts of guises. I never thought I would see it so overtly online until it came to pass along my line.

“It’s just provocation. They want a reaction out of you.”

It does seem indeed to be that. And in essence, me even acknowledging this e-hatred is unwise. But I don’t believe in quieting myself for the sake of others, to ‘save’ them from my opinion.

It’s a sick, mad world out there, and it seems to be even sicker and madder online. Can I laugh about that? To a certain degree, yes. It’s also a necessary lesson in abnormal psychology. [I'm taking notes profusely. Ha.]

If all you can do is hurt people, to tear them apart for the sake of your own amusement and to feed your ego or the size of your penis, I certainly can laugh at that.